Job Hunting: Why You’re Doing It Wrong and It’s Like Trying to Find Love on Tinder

Swiping Left on Rejections and Ghosting Your Dream Job: How the Job Market Became the Worst Dating App Ever

Ah, the job market. Where optimism goes to die, and your inbox becomes a graveyard of rejection emails.

If you’re currently on the job hunt, you’ve probably come to realize that it’s less like a career journey and more like a series of bad Tinder dates—awkward, disheartening, and leaving you wondering what went wrong. Spoiler: it’s not you, it’s your approach.

“Polish your resume”

Let’s start with the classic advice we’ve all been spoon-fed since high school: polish your resume.

You dust off that resume, fluff it up with fancy corporate-sounding fluff—“innovative”, “team player” — and wait for a response that’s never coming.

As if the secret to landing a job in 2024 is hiding in the formatting of your bullet points or whether you used Arial over Times New Roman.

That resume you spent hours agonizing over - it’s probably collecting dust in an HR system somewhere, along with 500 others.

Sure, a well-organized resume used to matter.. more.. back then..

But now? Hiring managers are so flooded with resumes, yours is just another digital relic.

So why cling to this idea that making it “perfect” for every application will magically, by itself solve your job search woes? It’s good to have one, detailed, simple, following all of the rules file, however, it’s not a golden ticket; it’s just a list of things you did for people who barely remember your name.

Networking: Or How to Slide into DMs Without Looking Desperate

Ah, networking. The professional version of sliding into someone’s DMs, but without the “hey, you up?” vibes. Here’s the thing: unless you’re already in the cool kids’ club, trying to network feels like showing up at a party where you weren’t invited, holding a sad six-pack of warm beer, hoping someone will let you in.

Unless you have real tight connections, your efforts will likely result in a series of awkward LinkedIn messages that make you feel like you’re trying to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door.

Networking isn’t just about meeting people; it’s about finding someone who actually gives a damn about you and what you have to say — and that’s harder than finding a needle in a haystack.

“Just reach out to people,” they say, it’s all about “who you know”, but what they really mean is “who’s willing to help you”.

Buckle Up for Heartbreak

Rejection. The bitter pill we all have to swallow. You craft the perfect cover letter, channel your inner Shakespeare, and hit “send” with the confidence of a rockstar. And then? Crickets. No acknowledgment, no feedback, not even a polite “thanks, but no thanks.” they say, or worse, they say nothing.

At this point, even a “We regret to inform you” feels wonderful.

It’s like getting ghosted after a great first date—no explanation, just silence, followed by a “we’ve moved on with someone else” email two weeks later.

You start questioning everything—your skills, your major, your whole existence. “Maybe I should’ve become an influencer,” you think, as you scroll through another rejection email while eating instant ramen at 3 a.m

Job boards

Enter the online job boards, where you can scroll through hundreds of job postings that all start to blur together after about 10 minutes. Ever noticed how they all sound the same? “We’re looking for a self-starter with a passion for innovation!” Translation: We want you to work around the clock for peanuts and pretend you love it.

And let’s not forget the experience requirements. “Entry-level position. Must have 5-7 years of experience.” Right. Because everyone just magically graduates with a full career under their belt.

And don’t even get me started on those automated tracking systems that decide if you’re worthy of a glance. If you didn’t jam-pack your resume with the exact keywords some algorithm is looking for, your application goes straight to the garbage.

Thanks for playing! Better luck next time.

Stop Playing the Game by Their Rules

So, what’s the answer? Stop pretending the traditional route is going to work for you. It’s not 1995 anymore, and no one’s impressed by your meticulously formatted CV or your ability to use words like “detail-oriented” or “proactive.” It’s time to break the mold.

Reach out directly to companies you actually want to work for. No job posting? Who cares.

Make them notice you. Be bold. Be different. And stop treating your resume like the Holy Grail—it’s a tool, not a miracle worker. Show them why you’re invaluable, not just why you check the boxes.

You’re unique. You’ve got ideas. Show them why they need you—don’t just tell them you can work well under pressure like every other LinkedIn zombie.

And while you’re at it, laugh at the rejections. Really—what else are you going to do? Let them crush your spirit? No thanks.

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Final Thoughts: Job Hunting is a Circus, and You’re the Only One Without a Clown Suit

The job market is a mess. But that’s the beauty of it—you can’t take it seriously because if you did, you’d lose your mind. Stop putting all your energy into playing by the rules when the game is rigged. Rewrite the script & have some fun with it.

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